Archive for March, 2008

We’re All Fucking Crazy

Sunday, March 30th, 2008

It’s already been well established here that, among others, my mother hates me. You may be surprised to learn that all of my brothers (all three of them) are oddly similar to me. We’re all extremely sarcastic, highly politically incorrect, and willing to say anything regardless of the circumstances or present company. Needless to say, after raising four boys with attitudes like that I’m surprised my mother hasn’t developed a nasty rock habit.

My youngest brother, whom I will call “Don,

Best of Office Comedy

Thursday, March 27th, 2008

“QUANTUM SHOT” #225

Something’s not quite right in the office…

Here I am, trying to run this blog part-time in addition to having the full-time 9 to 5 job elsewhere, - this kind of a lifestyle calls for a healthy sense of humor. You gotta keep your hamsters happy, as they tirelessly run the race… So here goes “the best of office comedy” on the web. By the way, if you have not seen “Office Space” movie, please do so, as it’s certainly the best in the genre.

“Don’t torture your soul with a wrong career” ad:

Don’t take it seriously, for God’s sake, folks - an interesting comparison:

IN PRISON: You spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell.
AT WORK: You spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON: You get three meals a day.
AT WORK: You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON: You get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK: You get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON: The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK: You must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON: You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK: You could get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON: You get your own toilet.
AT WORK: You have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISON: They allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK: You aren’t even supposed to speak to your family.

IN PRISON: All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK: you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON: You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK: You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON: You must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK: They are called managers.

via Inspire Underground

“People on the way to work” immortalized:

“Tech Support” & “Call Answer” Comedy

Being a tech support or “call answer” person definitely requires lots of patience, and a sense of humor.
Here are the most hilarious occasions, recorded for Mirror UK newspaper.

Customer: “I’ve been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can’t get through to enquiries, can you help?”
Operator: “Where did you get that number from, sir?”
Customer: “It was on the door to the travel centre”.
Operator: “They’re our opening hours”.

Caller: “Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?”
Operator: I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about”.
Caller: “In the user guide it clearly states I need to unplug the fax machine from the wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Can you give me his number?”

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: “Woven? Are you sure?”
Caller: “Yes. That’’s what it says on the label: Woven in Scotland”.

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: “I haven’t got a pen, so I’m steaming up the window to write the number on”.”

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop”.
Customer: “OK”.
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No”.
Tech Support: “OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No”.
Tech Support: “OK. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer: “Sure. You told me to write “click” and I wrote “click”".
Tech Support: “OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the “OK” button displayed?”
Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”

Top “Office Comedy” Short Videos

You might have seen some of the classics before, but I wanted to put the best ones together as a small collection.
So here they are: most hilarious “Office Comedy” videos of the past years.
(if you know of others, write to us, we’ll update)

“Die Hardly Working”
link

“Office Platoon”
link

“Office Exercise”
link

“Work-related Accident”
link

“Idiot”
link

“Bad Day at the Office”
link

“Drastic Solution”
link

“Printer problem”
link

“Office Fight”
link

“Office Stress 1″
link

“Office Stress 2″
link

“Office Stress 3″
link

“Worst First Day at Work”
link

“Hardware Problem”
link

“Hungry at Work”
link

This video is one of the best: (thanks, Marius!)
link

Best way to relax after a stressful day at work:

Tough Plastic Bags ad (the only reason this guy escapes home safe)

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Related Posts:
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Computer retailer implemented Microsoft Dynamics AX

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

Source: www.ospint.com — Computer Center Key retail chain (Saint Petersburg) has finished a project for automation of a new distribution center. Automation of its central office with Microsoft Dynamics AX in 2005 let the company consolidate network management and optimize goods flows.

The next major task imposed by the business was automation of the new warehouse facility. While looking for a suitable building for the distribution center, Computer Center Key management asked Columbus IT consultants to design the future warehouse facility.

They came up with a WMS system implementation requirements specification. The offered system based on Microsoft Dynamics AX platform was fully consistent with the company’s business peculiarities and did not require any adjustments. The implemented solution gave the company a perfect vision of the warehouse and product location and movement.

Warehouse staff participation in decision-making about goods placement has been minimized: the system analyses goods turnover and availability of free space and makes suggestions about where to place the consignment.

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008


Creo que un buen m

European Cinema ….

Monday, March 17th, 2008

Today, while reading the highly recommended Sound + Vision, I discovered the 5 clips Media came up early this year, back in February, at the occasion of the Berlinale (Berlin Film Festival).

These clips were prepared with extracts from several films supported by EU’s MEDIA programme. The Pianist, by Roman Polanski, made it here. Unfortunately, no Portuguese film made it to this campaign.

The 4 clips are Joy, Sadness, Love and Love II. The 5th is a compilation of all the previous ones.

Films to be found among these clips include the likes of:

The Pianist by Roman Polanski
L’auberge espagnole by Cedric Klapisch

Les choristes by Christophe Barratier
Billy Elliot by Stephen Daldry

Le Fabuleux destin d’Amelie Poulain by Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Secrets and Lies by Milke Leigh

Sophie Scholl - Die letzten Tage by Marc Rothemund
The Pianist by Roman Polanski

Todo sobre mi madre by Pedro Almodovar
La vita e bella by Roberto Benigni

Noi albinoi by Dagur Kari
Head-on (Gegen die Wand) by Fatih Akin

Mar adentro by Alejandro Amenabar
Goodbye Lenin by Wolfgang Becker

Breaking the waves by Lars von Trier
L’enfant by Jean-Pierre und Luc Dardenne

Girl with a pearl earring by Peter Webber
La mala educacion by Pedro Almodovar

The Deamers by Bernardo Bertolucci
The Man Without a Past by Aki Kaurismäki

Joy

Sadness

Love

Love II

Compilation

In case you’re wondering on all the other titles, just follow this link.

So, what are you waiting for!!!!!Welcome to a new world where Poland and Portugal meet.

Here we talk music, we talk films, we talk comics, we talk …..

Welcome to Music@PL.PT

Story of the Three Stripes

Saturday, March 15th, 2008

One of the well known and the best branded sportswear in the market are Adidas apparel and shoes. Adidas have long established itself as a well designed and well made footwear, ever since Adolf (Adi) Dassler created the first pair in the early 1920s.Adidas started with footwear, it is only it recent history that the company branched out with other sports apparel like shirts, socks, shorts and various accessories, just to name a few. When Adolf Dassler designed his first pair of shoes, it instantly became a hit.It was not long, therefore, that Adolf and his brother Rudi were selling them like hotcakes. The brothers introduced a lot of innovations in the athletic footwear industry. They were the first ones to have introduced the arch support in athletic shoes. They also were the first ones who gave athletes free shoes in return for advertising their products.When the company entered the U.S. market in 1968, they came in very strong. They were so strong, in fact that American shoe competitors, Wilson and MacGregor had to stop manufacturing their footwear because of Adidas’ popularity. The popularity of Adidas became undisputed when during the 1972 Munich Olympic Games, every game official and almost all of the 1,490 international athletes wore Adidas.With the strong footing Adidas had in the footwear market, it was quite surprising to the see the company in shambles during the 1980s. The lack of a solid leadership and workable policies by the company’s upper management caused Adidas’ demise in the 80s. The company totally underestimated the growth of the newly formed Nike. They were too complacent. And soon, enough, due to more innovative designs and modern styles that appeal to the new generation, Nike took from Adidas the number one title. Adidas fell from the top and the fall was hard.What saved the company was the revival of 70s fashions in the early 1990s. Adidas’ old designs became retro and antique overnight appealing to the teens and younger generations who were the ones mostly affected by the rebirth of the psychedelic fashion. Celebrities that were caught on video and camera wearing old Adidas shoes increased the demands for the shoe manufacturer’s 20-year old designs.At present, Adidas has slowly crawled its way back up into the ranking of the top footwear manufacturers in the world. Though, it still have not yet reached the pinnacle of success that it once had, the company has regained a comfortable footing in the sportswear market.Low Jeremy maintains http://sports-apparel.articlesforreprint.com This content is provided by Low Jeremy. It may be used only in its entirety with all links included.Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Low_JeremyMake A Penis Size Grow
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Qatar Squash Classic

Friday, March 14th, 2008

The Qatar WISPA Classic will be held in Doha from April 13th to 17th in Khalifa International Tennis and Squash stadium. The competition is being held in April to replace the 2006 events, which should have been held in November 2006. Unfortunately both the men and women’s events, with combined prize money of more than $200,000, were cancelled last year due to the renovation of squash facilities in Khalifa Stadium prior to the Asian Games.

Many of the world’s top 20 players, including Nicol David, current number 1, will be playing. Tickets, as usual, are free. No schedule is available yet, but Qatar Squash Federation tells me that games should start at one o’clock most days. See http://www.squashtalk.com/html2/news07/apr/wispadraw07-4-1.html for details of the individual games.

For more details contact the Qatar Squash Federation:
Tel: +974 4887671
Email: qatar_squash@qatar.net.qa

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Find the best deal, compare prices and read what other travellers have to say about Qatar

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Greater than $100 Barrel Oil & $10 gas–Economic Depression?

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

Oil prices swept past $75 a barrel Friday and it looks like there is no relief in sight. Could we see $100 a barrel this year? Personally, I think it’s quite possible—even probable. Could this be the catalyst for the eventual downturn of our economy? The potential is significant, as most Americans are strapped and are currently spending more than they earn just to keep their heads above water.

With consumer spending making up 70% of the US economy, what do you think will happen when people have to make difficult choices? (Choice 1) $60-120 of gas for the car to get back and forth to work this week or (Choice 2) take the family out to dinner on Friday night or (Choice 3) buying that brand new widget they really don’t need. Personally, I think it’s a no-brainer and consumers WILL pull back on their discretionary spending—to keep their cars on the road. This reduction in spending will eventually begin to drag on our economy like boots on a swimmer.

In addition, everything we buy (food, clothing, gadgets, etc) has to be transported via Air/Train/Ship/Truck/etc. As fuel cost rise, these increased transportation costs will eventually be passed on to the consumer. Can you say INFLATION?

So what is going on, why are oil prices so high?

Worldwide oil prices are up due to (1) anxiety over civil unrest in Nigeria, (2) political instability in Venezuela, (3) the fact that major oil-production facilities in the Gulf Coast are still out of commission, and (4) the looming threat of a war with Iran…

OK, I grasp oil thing, but why are gas prices so high?

The reasons for the recent run up in gas prices are many:

(1) The price of crude oil topped $75 per barrel last week.

(2) Refinery maintenance—due to Hurricane Katrina refinery disruptions, routine maintenance was delayed at many refineries to keep supplies flowing. It’s now close to peak driving season and this maintenance is severely overdue. In addition, shutdowns are also in order to allow a switch from winter to summer blends. Bottom Line: some of the largest refineries in the US are scheduled to be shutdown soon. When these shutdowns do happen, US gas inventories will decrease.

(3) Switching from MTBE to Ethanol. An industry shift from methyl tertiary-butyl ether to the clean-burning gasoline additive ethanol is currently in the works because MTBE was found to pollute water supplies. This switch requires refineries to completely empty their tanks to flush out MTBE residues before they begin to use the new additive–which is in short supply. Compounding the problem: Ethanol cannot be shipped in pipelines (due to its water absorbing characteristics) and it must be trucked in to the refineries—this is increasing requirements & utilization of tanker trucks, thus reducing those available for shipping gas to local gas stations.

(4) April and May historically are peak months for fuel prices.

OK, I think I understand now, but how high can gas prices possibly go?

With Iran in the crosshairs, the Sky is the limit. If bombs start to drop, IRAN could create a chokepoint (blockade) off the Strait of Hormuz (where two-fifths of the worlds oil passes through). If this is allowed to happen, $10 + a gallon gas at the pump is not out of the question.

Would $10 a Gallon gas be enough of a shocker to throw the world into a depression?

Your guess is as good as mine, but I’d hate to find out the hard way… What do you think?

More More Music from the UK!

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

Our Danish friend, Lasse, has just emailed me about his adventures to Roskilde fest, which one day I hope to go.  For us over here it is pretty similar to Coachella but it’s perhaps the largest outdoor music fest in the Euro world.  I checked out some of the bands he mentioned and we are constantly reminded that theres a lot of good stuff out there!  Mystery Jets is one of the bands from the UK I’ve recently discovered to fit the bill.  Somehow the vocals + harmonies + parts of composition remind me of the Killers combined with Beirut with whoever, and people say this is a bad thing but I like it.  And you can’t tell me the “la la la’s” aren’t great, come on now.  Check out these songs!Soluable AirDiamond In The DarkYou Can’t Fool Me DennisIf you are gonna be in the LA area come end of September, Mystery Jets will be performing at Cinespace on the 25th!  Okay Happy Wednesday!  

The Hall Rocks With Irish

Sunday, March 9th, 2008

Walking up to the hall is an experience guaranteed to raise more than a goose bump or two. A stunning piece of daring architecture designed by internationally renowned architect I.M. Pei, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum looks like a futuristic ice sculpture jutting out of the banks of Lake Erie.
According to the website, the venue is within 500 miles of 43% of the U.S. population and less than a day’s drive or an hour’s flight from many major cities in the U.S. and Canada.

We took the plane. Cleveland Hopkins International Airport is a 20 minute drive to downtown, or an easy trip on public transportation.

For anyone still making up their minds on where to go for a last minute summer getaway, look no further than Cleveland! We even got into a Cleveland Indians game by walking up to the gate and paying face value for a ticket that cost a fraction of what a Yankee ticket costs. How can you go wrong?

I thought I would be leaving work behind, but work soon found me as soon as I walked into the hall. U2’s stage props are the first things you see when you enter, the hollowed out compact cars that acted as lighting fixtures for the Zoo TV tour in 1991 shine the spotlight on the visitors as you pay your way.

There are three cars dangling from the glass and steel ceiling. One silver mirrored model looks like it had a disco ball vomit all over it, while the leopard print model looks like it made big cat road kill on the way to the museum.

There are plenty of Irish references throughout the site. U2 is there, and they are in good company. Aerosmith and Madonna are in front of them, and they are situated across from the wild stage costumes of David Bowie, the sequined glove of Michael Jackson that goes with the torn red leather jacket worn by the fallen pop star in his “Thriller” video.

The U2 exhibit was an interesting hodgepodge of band history. In what must amount to be a delicious slice of revenge, the band chose to immortalize the rejection letters they got from record company geniuses in the late 1970s within their exhibit.

Billy Lawrie, director of A&R at Arista Records, writes that “although this doesn’t meet our needs at present we would like to thank you for thinking of us and encourage you to keep us posted on future endeavors.”

RSO Records writes to a Mr. P. Hewson (a/k/a Bono) at 10 Codewood Road, Dublin on May 10, 1979 that “we have listened with great consideration but feel that your music is not what we’re looking for.” The letter is signed by Alexander Sinclair, who probably no longer works in the record business for passing on one of the biggest recording outfits of our generation!

There are hand written lyrics of “Bad,” from the album The Unforgettable Fire in 1984. The birth of their future merchandising empire can be found in a relic from Larry Mullen Junior, who silk-screened the first U2 design onto a t-shirt during his art class.

Bono’s first guitar and the militaristic costumes from the band’s “PopMart” tour, including a wicked fretless bass once played by Adam Clayton, round out the U2 exhibit.

Obviously, the Lennon and McCartney song partnership produced the greatest band in the world, and the Beatles are prominently represented with walls of memorabilia. It’s great to see the pale, weathered lavender matching suits they wore at Shea Stadium and the moptop lunchboxes and board games that were part of the teenybop souvenirs of the era.

“John Lennon was the first punk,” said Marianne Faithful with a sly smile during one of the many video montages that play in the many theaters within the hall. Truer words were never spoken.

There is disappointment in store for Van Morrison fans. Though he was elected into the hall a few years back and he does make an appearance in a documentary on the blues, I didn’t see any memorabilia from him.

Since the museum relies mainly on the private collections of the artist for material, one must wonder what kept Van the Man from parting with his stash of memories?

Despite the reverence displayed to the forefathers of rock and roll, the rebellious spirit is never far behind. It is provided by none other than Sex Pistols lead singer Johnny Rotten, the Irish Brit formerly known as Johnny Lydon.

“This honor is like putting urine in wine,” he retorts in the letter in which he declines the offer of membership into the hall.

While the hall does a brilliant balance of all phases of rock, I would love to see more Celtic and Irish additions on my next trip. Richard Thompson and the Fairport Convention influenced many an acoustic guitarist, and Rory Gallagher gave way to a million air guitarists. They deserve their rightful place in the rock museum.

I’m sure we’ll see Sinead O’Connor in there before long, but what about the Virgin Prunes, who influenced the likes of the Sex Pistols and U2? What about the Clancy Brothers? Bob Dylan himself makes no bones about citing the influence of this legendary folk outfit, yet their impact does not get a mention.

If the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame doesn’t let them in, perhaps we should all lobby for a Celtic Music Hall of Fame? Until then, I highly recommend making this pilgrimage. I know its only rock and roll, but you’ll like it. Trust me!

For more information, log onto www.rockhall.com. A number of hotel and travel packages are available on the site. - IrishAbroad